Canada's Wonderland - Why Such a Pain in the Ass...?

Saturday was Alex's birthday and she wanted to go to Canada's Wonderland. Talk about a nightmare - 2 hour lines in 40 degree heat. At least the humanity was out for the watching.

Tough call on which amusement park brings out the best calibre. While Wild Water Kingdom had the more sizeable populace, I think the Wonderland of Canada won for the titanic amount of rubbish disguised as people that it draws.

Wild Water Kingdom - the tackiest place on earth

Last weekend when Rich's Dad and group were over Brenda mentioned that she wanted to take the girls (being her daughter Cass and Rich's cousin Michelle) to the waterpark for a day, and was wondering if I was interested in joining them.

At this time I feel the need to explain how up until I was about 11 or 12, I didn't understand how someone could be depressed (and I mean clinically depressed) when Wet n' Wild existed. I really thought that if someone was depressed or suicidal or had some other difficult emotional/mental ailment, that there was no way that a day at Wet n' Wild couldn't fix it. I still believe this to some degree actually.

So, Monday was the day - and it was HOT - 36 or so that felt like 56 with the humidity.

I woke up at 7:30, dropped off some files at the office and met up with the girls. We got to the park at 10:01 (it opened at 10, nothing better than a waterpark keener).

We even started to get nervous about "crowds" when we were in to the parking lot because we were behind a short bus - and we all know what that means - kids with stickers on their helmets that are sure to hold up the lines. What is it with this family and crowds??

Anyhoo - we got into the park and Brenda and I spent the whole day downing beers by the waterfall pool and rolling ourselves from the lounge chair into the pool.

I swear, for a moment I thought I had been transported to Cancun...then I woke up and realized that I was at Finch and the 427...

I really think we could use a giant lazy river in Toronto (and the Don River doesn't count). That'd be a great way to get to and from work. Just hop on a tube and float your way to the office. Or if you're in a hurry - the constant flow of the river makes for a very fast swim.

I stand by my title of Wild Water Kingdom being the tackiest place on earth, but I had a damn good time there.

Ah yes - the name

I had to add "yep she was a prossy" for anyone from Texas that came across the site, or me. I didn't want to get a "uh, excuse me - but were you aware that the Yellow Rose of Texas was actually a prostitute...?" from any of the smart asses out there.

So yes, I am well aware that many claim the Yellow Rose of Texas was a prostitute that slept with both Sam Houston and Santa Anna. Her name was Emily West, and she was an indentured servant taken to Texas from New York by James Morgan. Rumour has it that Santa Anna was so taken by Emily when he came across her at San Jacinto Bay that he rerouted his entire army to that area and set up camp. Emily then helped a messenger to escape and inform Sam Houston's army of the Mexican's position. Later when the Texan's attacked, Santa Anna was caught in a compromising position in a tent with Emily and tried to escape in her clothing.

Of course most of the stories are rumour and speculation; but Texans hold "The Yellow Rose of Texas" in pretty high regard for her part in winning the battle against the Mexicans.

MMVA's 2005 - Out my window

So the MuchMusic Video Awards were on Sunday; and seeing as Rich and I live next door to Much Music, we were pretty excited about it. On the Monday before, we invited Rich's Dad (John), his Dad's girlfriend (Brenda), her daughter (Cassidy), Rich's cousin in from Florida (Michelle), and the grandparents (Peg and John Sr.) over to our place for Father's Day dinner on the Sunday. We thought it would be fun to have everyone over to watch the awards and see all the people.

On Sunday morning we got a call from Rich's Dad that in my so skewed interpretation said "guys, we're too scared of the crowds and we think it'll be such ridiculous mayhem down at your place that we'd rather have the dinner at our place out here in the burbs". This message shocked me for two reasons: 1) cause it's Toronto, and do things ever really get nuts? no. and 2) because Rich's Dad and Brenda are the kind of people that are literally up for anything - usually they just want to relax and have fun (Rich would argue with me about that - but that's only cause it's his Dad and I'm pretty sure they have to be parenty sometimes).

We later determined that it was the grandparents that didn't think they could handle the noise. After many years of denial, John Sr. finally gave in and got a hearing aid last year. Seems he was always quiet before just because he couldn't hear much.

Ended up as lunch with the grandparents and dinner at our place. We all had a really nice time too. As soon as we heard a band that we liked, we would go downstairs into the "crowd" and see them on the stage.

As well, the day before (Saturday) we saw all the bands during their sound checks. Must say that Billy Talent was by far the best one we saw. Ashleigh Simpson was as expected, and the Black Eyed Peas with their "don't phunk with my heart" made me want to jam an ice pick into my ears (as was also expected).

Hmmm - that was a pretty boring post, but not a lot of interesting things happen in my life (which is of course my own fault) so that'll have to do.

I think most places charge too much to make them seem better than they are...

Last Friday I went out to "Lobby" for a girlfriend's 30th birthday party. Due to number of us in attendance, we were forced into a prix fixe menu. We all started with a salad of sorts, then most of the girls had the kobe beef burger (apparently very good - I've been off cow lately though, so I didn't try it) and I had the tuna (great texture, but the flavour was really boring). A bunch of sides were shared (the fries - sooooo good with the jalapeno mayo dipping sauce, grilled asparagus, and a couple of mashed potato plate things). Then we each got to choose from one of two desserts (ice cream or cake of sorts). It was all pretty good, and we all had a really nice time with some decent wine and good conversation.

So you can only imagine our dismay when the bill came to $140 each! (Did I mention that almost half of the women didn't drink anything, and the other half only had a maximum of two glasses of wine...) Really though - the waiter sucked (and smelled - shocking considering where he works), the food lacked flavour and imagination, and the wine was just ok. And don't even get me started on the crowd that was there - oh Lawd, talk about trying too hard. "Yes, yes, I'm talking about you - the 46 year old in the mini skirt that's trying desperately to keep her tube top from falling off of her brand new implants".

I hate these places in Toronto that think they are some fantastic restaurant that is known all over the world for it's interesting and high quality cuisine. The problem with places in Toronto like "Lobby"is not just the fact that they charge such a ridiculous amount for such a generic experience; but the fact that people like myself and the women I was with feed into it.

In TO - if I want something damn good, I'll head to Burrito Boyz; if I want something pretty freaking terrific, I'll head to Rain; and if I want something truly incredible, I'll go to Perigee. No need to waste time on the white couches of Bloor Street West.

What's also kind of a pisser is that the last time I went to Lobby, the food was amazing. But I was pretty drunk that night...

A lovely evening

Rich had ultimate frisbee last night (which I jokingly refer to as "frisbee tag" or "frolf" - he doesn't find it as amusing as I do). So I had the apartment to myself - very exciting. I sat around and watched The Notebook (soooo good - I bawled all the way through the part where Geena Rowlands comes back and then fades away again), got to eat tofu without being made fun of, and went to bed at 10pm. Such a nice night - for a grandmother.

Then I woke up to find that someone had been shot in our backyard....

Either this city is changing, or I'm getting way too old for my own good.

Parking Downtown

Last night Rich came home from work and parked in his usual spot somewhere on McCaul. Once he got into the apt, he realized that he'd left his phone in the car - so he went back out to get it. Once he got to his car, he saw that someone had tried to squeeze into the space behind him without much luck. Seems that they were actually pushing up against his car's back bumper in an attempt to fit in the legal parking parameters. On top of that, there were only about 3 inches between Rich's car and car in front of his. So of course - being the perfectly rational driver that he is - Rich got mad - and when I say mad - I mean fuming - spitting fire, speaking in tongues with a cloud of blue around his head mad.

After throwing a little tantrum for the pleasure of himself and various passers-by, he decided that he'd wait for that "sorry S.O.B". He sat there for a few minutes with the intention of gratifying himself by kicking his (presumably a he) ass or perhaps just giving him one of his famous "life lessons" in the form of a 15 minute not-so-godly sermon.

After a few moments of waiting, Rich realized that there was a far better solution to the problem than waiting to possibly get yourself pummeled or face assault charges from an old lady. He decided to call the parking authority. Now, because someone from the Toronto Parking Authority is employed strictly to follow Rich around the city - it took no time before someone was there to ticket the "pusher".

After making several comments about the "pusher's" vehicle, the P.A. issued a ticket, called in the license number, and asked Rich if he needed to go somewhere right away. Rich was a little baffled by the question and wondered why it mattered. Seems that the pusher lived near by and the P.A. wanted to go knock on their door to see if they could come out and move their car. Seeing as Rich is one of those super-bad-luck fellows, he was a little annoyed that the Toronto P.A. would give someone the chance to move their car rather than having it towed. So of course he lied and said that he needed to go somewhere right away.

Then the tow truck showed up - Then the supervisor of the P.A. showed up just to make sure it was obvious that this was an issue that required towing - Then Rich watched as the tow truck took the car off into the night - Then he moved his car - just to make sure the pusher wouldn't do anything ridiculous like key it or something...

This is what happens when you don't have the luxury of having a private parking space. Nuts.

But at least in this instance the good guy won - at least in my books he did.

Hmmm, maybe old buildings with "character" aren't the greatest

Saw a mouse yesterday - haven't seen him/her in a couple of months. Just reminds me of when I lived with Derek and Jon on Bloor - what a dump that place was.
Best parties ever though...